Unpacking Fridays

Friday, I recalibrate

Friday! Am I the only one that loves Fridays? I once was told that this is a sign of optimism because Fridays are tied with the feeling of anticipation hence a believer that tomorrow is brighter day.

I do really deeply love fridays and on top of that fridays saved my life. You might be wondering how?

This fateful Friday morning about two and a half years ago, I woke up like any other day. But this Friday felt different, the excitement was not there, no anticipation, I just wanted to be left alone. And this change felt normal we all need some recalibrating every now and then in life. But what was recalibrating weekend turned into a recalibrating week which turned into a recalibrating month.

At first I did not realize the change. Well I live a monotonous life in general. So all this came to my attention 6 Fridays later. I had been going down a rabbit hole of my own brain without me realizing it. I had more sleepless nights, no proper meals , the only effort I put in was me trying to get my homeworks in on time. I then knew something was off, living a monotonous life was one thing but not being happy and excited about living it was something else. Also with all my poor health choices I had started to develop really bad migraines, low blood pressure and all sorts of other conditions. At first I decided to address the migraine because well it interfered with my daily routine, but then my doctor suggested I should seek therapy. That felt weird to me, first because I thought I was good at self medicating when it came to my mental health and two I just did not think I need therapy.

But regardless of my thoughts, I took his advice and to my greatest surprise I was diagnosed with symptoms of anxiety and depression.

This was the beginning of my mental health journey. I now was journaling my feelings, my actions pretty much my life, again low key like a self cleaning oven I wanted to get to the bottom of it all faster than my therapist. Which later was also something I had to unpack. What always led me to think that my feelings and emotions do not deserve that much attention. I had mastered the art of using my extroversion as a shield to keep everyone out of my real feelings.

I was then introduced to a number of exercises to use my built-in personality to heal myself. But again mental health is a journey and an important one to not avoid in life. One that I am walking on every day to better myself but also I want to be a living testimony that it is okay to not feel okay and that there is no shame in seeking help.

8 thoughts on “Friday, I recalibrate”

      1. I did figure out what it was and I realized I always knew it deep down hence why I was always dismissive of my feelings.
        Well, the reaction will be after they read this post, only 4 of my friends knew I go to therapy and they were very supportive and actually even on days I wanted to give up they encouraged me to continue.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. No, it took me some time. I talked to my bestfriend about it and she was kinda pushed me a bit, she was like you are lucky to have access to free therapy because my school does offer free services to students, use it and if you don’t like it or do not think it is working drop it. At first it was an on and off thing but for the past 1 year I finally got the groove of it.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thank you very much for your encouragement and support.

        Also yes the price of therapy is also what really made me take up the opportunity because I knew that once I graduate from university the price was going to be 10 to 20 times more.

        Liked by 1 person

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