Self hate, self torture or simply stupidity

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So you think he loves you?

How do you fit such big ideas in such a small body?

What makes you think he can even look at you again?

I cheated on him

I hurt him

I don’t deserve him

I might be a monster

Do you love me?

Why do you hurt me?

You hurt me

I don’t trust you but I love you

I love him

I hope he forgives me

I wish things could go back to what they were

I miss him

Tears rolling on my cheeks

Together or not this stream does not stop

Hate or Love?

Mixed feelings

Self-judgement settles in my heart

I cheated on him

I should be more patient with him

All his action are understadable

They say this was the past

They say your love is greater than that

They say he should trust you

They say your actions will be in vain

I don’t know if I really love myself

Why do I settle in my own pain?

Why do I accept all the blame and judgment?

Why do I self-hate this much?